WINDOW PAIN: WHEN YOU’RE EXHAUSTED & NO LONGER ENERGY EFFICIENT

“Energy cannot be created nor destroyed. It can only be transformed from one form to another.” – Isaac Newton

The purpose of energy-efficient windows

We live in an era where people are becoming more cognizant of the energies that surround them. The proverb “misery loves company” suggests that a person who is unhappy finds comfort in the company of another individual who shares that same unhappy spirit. Energy – that flows through all of us – by definition, is usually a positive spiritual force. However, life happens to everyone and often without warning and when changes in a person’s life and circumstances negatively affect them, their energy can go from positive to negative in 60 seconds flat. When the energy that surrounds us is negative, not only can it drain our s.p.i.r.i.t.s, but it can wreak havoc on our relationships and infiltrate our homes with its toxic power. In the Houston area, all homes built after May 2002 were required to have double-pane or energy-efficient w.i.n.d.o.w.s. These are windows made with two layers of glass instead of one layer.  The main purpose of this code regulation is to decrease the amount of heat energy that transfers through the window, which in return decreases energy bills – a major plus for the year-round tropical climate.  In addition to these benefits, having double pane windows:

• provides better insulation from hot and cold temperatures
• protects the environment with lower energy usage from fossil-fueled p.o.w.e.r sources
• silences o.u.t.s.i.d.e noise & reduces condensation and mold buildup

When marketing the home of a seller to a prospective buyer, noting that the windows are double pane as oppose to single pane, is a positive selling point. Regardless of the size of the home, the number of windows determines the amount of heat energy that seeps in during the long summer & e.s.c.a.p.e.s during the short winter.  And high energy costs due to windows that are NOT energy efficient, can greatly impact a household budget.

The science behind adding an additional pane of glass to a window in order to conserve energy for a building is brilliant. Most of us need that extra l.a.y.e.r of protection added to the “relationship” building code of our own being. But what do windows and relationships have in common? A window is an opening that allows energy to pass through it. Relationships can mirror that opening, often allowing negative or t.o.x.i.c energy to seep in. And when toxic energy filters through your window (a metaphor for spirit) it can drain you of your effectiveness (efficiency), rob you of your power and leave you exhausted. Many of us, experience relationships with a family member, a friend or significant other, that deplete us of energy that we will n.e.v.e.r get back. And instead of allowing these toxic relationships to die, saying your final goodbyes, closing the lid on the pine box & STOMPING IT six feet underground, we instead waste more e.n.e.r.g.y trying to salvage them, when they were NEVER worth the energy it took to stay in them.

When your relationship is not energy-efficient

Relationships are hard. They require e.v.e.r.y.t.h.a.n.g that we can give a fat rat’s @ss about doing: compromising in it, working at it & sacrificing for it. Having to perform one of these god-awful action verbs is torture enough but having to do all three can be deemed cruel and unusual punishment, which the Eighth Amendment to the United States Constitution prohibits the infliction of.  However, in a h.e.a.l.t.h.y relationship, where there is mutual love, respect, a balance of effort (energy) & productiveness (efficiency) from both individuals, then the inconvenience of performing these tasks are not as painful. That’s because a relationship that is energy efficient, like a double-paned window, insulates the interior of the relationship by acting as a barrier against the cold climate of disagreements & the scorching heat of arguments. It protects the environment of the relationship, using less of your m.e.n.t.a.l and emotional power, allowing you to maintain an internal temperature of comfort (strength), which is necessary for your own self-preservation. It acts as a noise barrier, reducing the blaring sirens of catty confusion that comes from outside interferences or negative energies. More importantly, when the relationship is energy efficient, maintenance is reduced. The condensation of contention that can buildup & overtime grow into the mold of misery is lowered, making the relationship more enjoyable.  Unfortunately, when the relationship is not energy efficient, like a s.i.n.g.l.e pane window, it provides little protection from these unsavory energies, exposing the relationship to dysfunction and turmoil.

It’s no secret, l.o.v.e.i.n.g another human being is EXHAUSTING! And in an unhealthy relationship, the energy spent worrying, wondering, believing the lies, tolerating the bullsh*t, making excuses for the behavior and STILL giving a f*ck or two about the wellbeing of their undeserving, ungrateful, unappreciative @ss is especially draining. And yet because we love him them, we allow them to siphon off our emotional fuel, leaving us in the “pain” and despair of our emptiness. And this is a feeling I’m all too familiar with.  For over two decades I visualized myself head over heels in a loving relationship with the ‘perfect’ man, only to be met with singleness, a shattered h.e.a.r.t and a shameful amount of disappointments. My life was not supposed to turn out this way. I know this because I planned it perfectly myself. And in my p.e.r.f.e.c.t planning, there was a thriving career, a wonderful husband who I was drunk in love with, two kids and a small dog. Fast forward to my present-day reality, where not only do I NOT have the husband or kids, I don’t even have the damn dog and my thriving career has its struggles. So, I find myself staring out of my own window‘pain’ asking “what went wrong in my planning and why did I exhaust so much of my energy in meaningless relationships”.

 “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans.”

– Woody Allen

I realize that it wasn’t the plans that I had for myself that were laughable, but my own internal inefficiencies that would render those plans fruitless in any relationship that was. Like a cracked window that loses heat on a bitterly cold day, so much of my power had escaped me, and I felt it.  

When your energy is out the window

The summers in Houston can last from 362 to 363 days out of the year. The remaining days might be merciful enough to allow for a fashionable wardrobe change. But during those “hot as hell” days, the air conditioning in most homes remain at a comfortable temperature.  The cool temperature inside, however, is no match for the outside heat energy that can seep in through a window not efficient enough to block it. That was ME!!!! A weak @ss window not insulated with enough self l.o.v.e or self-esteem to stop undeserved, unwanted, confused, selfish, abusive, insecure, manipulative, dysfunctional, disrespectful, narcissistic, toxic, sneaky, lying @ss energies from penetrating my cool environment.  These negative energies, under the guise of sh*tty relationships unapologetically filtered through my window‘pain’, leaving me with the high cost of their disruption and I allowed it. Not because I felt I didn’t deserve better, but because I s.i.m.p.l.y didn’t demand better. No wonder God laughed at my plans. How was I supposed to be gifted to this great man, in a loving relationship that I would not have appreciated, children that I would have damaged because I was b.r.o.k.e.n and a confused dog that would’ve sensed my weakness and probably bitten the sh*t out of me? If I was ever going to have the healthy relationship that I was purposed to have, then it was time for me to replace my cracked, deteriorating, worn out, raggedy @ss windows with the more efficient version.

How to fix your window pain

Replacing the b.r.o.k.e.n windows in your home requires proper installation. A trained professional or someone who knows what the hell they’re doing will consider not only the type of window they’re replacing but the construction of the home as well. However, the outward age and appearance of a home’s exterior don’t always reflect through its windows. Regardless of energy-efficient code regulations, the remodeling of a home built 100 years ago can still effectively use its original windows IF they’re in good condition. Aging is inevitable. Despite billion-dollar industries that create products or techniques that promise to give us more youthful skin, a firmer @ss & get rid of my our gray hair, the reality is, if you continue to breathe and exist, you will age Toya. But your aging exterior doesn’t have to reflect through your window‘pain’. A window’s sole function, whether energy-efficient or not, is to ventilate fresh air, facilitate l.i.g.h.t & provide warmth from the sun to the home. When that window is damaged or broken, its ability to function efficiently in its purpose is hindered. The relationships we form (outside of family members that we unfortunately can’t choose) reflect our i.n.t.e.r.n.a.l condition. When we are broken, our metaphoric window‘pain’ (spirit) will attract energy in the form of relationships that reflect the one we have with ourselves. Having a b.r.o.k.e.n self-image that stems from (rejection. childhood trauma. lack of confidence. feeling unwanted. low self-esteem & a zillion other reasons) despite your remodeled outward appearance, affects your relationship with yourself & will always draw other b.r.o.k.e.n, dark spirited individuals into your environment through your window. And light and darkness can never coexist. One must always yield to the other. As a realtor, I’ve never lost a sale because the windows weren’t double-paned.  If they functioned efficiently & weren’t cracked or damaged, I knew there were other ways my buyers could insulate & p.r.o.t.e.c.t their home from high energy costs. Therefore, an old single-pane window can still serve its purpose with proper maintenance. However, a broken window‘pain’ that allows the energies of:

self–doubt. low self–esteem. self–hatred. self–mutilation. self–destruction & self-humiliation

to pass through night and day must immediately be replaced with the energy-efficient version of:

Self–Love. Self–Respect. Self–Confidence. Self–Control. Self–Esteem. Self–Trust. Self–Determination. Self–Care  & Self–Worth

This is when YOU take charge of YOUR OWN happiness & replace your window’pain’ by:

• Rejecting behaviors & Relationships that waste your time & energy, tear you down & diminish your value.
• Releasing yourself of the burdens & expectations placed on you by judgemental, entitled, lazy @ss family members, selfish, insecure, controlling @ss significant others & backstabbing, jealous @ss friends.
• Remembering that YOU are the most important person in Your Own Life!  You are the star in your life’s story & everyone else is making a guest appearance.
• Relaxing & being comfortable in your own boss @ss, beautifully flawed skin & not giving two f*cks about the unsolicited opinions of other miserable, broken individuals.

And once your window‘pain’ has been replaced, the p.o.w.e.r that had long escaped you, leaving you inefficient and exhausted will gradually return. Now your new installation won’t mean that n.e.g.a.t.i.v.e “bad boy, friend or family” energies won’t tap at the window of your h.e.a.r.t again, but it will mean that they’ll have one HELL OF A TIME getting in! ?

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